Now believe me, I enjoy a spa treatment or a vacation day just as much as anyone. There’s something truly refreshing about a quiet morning walk on a cool day, or a hot cup of coffee or tea with a book on a cold
evening. These things are good, they are needed, and they have their place when it comes to taking care of ourselves. But we can confuse self-care with soul care.Self-Care Isn’t Always Enough
We think that if we just take a break, make space for downtime, get more sleep, or treat ourselves with something enjoyable, we’ll feel renewed and energetic again. But we also know that’s not always true. And even when it is true, the refreshment doesn’t last.
For example, I want to tell you that personally, I am trained as a clinical counselor, and I have also sought out counseling for myself a number of times. Each time, when I have discussed things with the counselor, I have been told to do something enjoyable for myself each week. That’s an instruction I’ve been given as part of a strategy to manage stress and take care of myself. That is self-care.
But here’s the thing: when I am stressed, it’s usually because I feel like I have too much to do and not enough time or resources to do it. So when someone tells me I need to take more time for an enjoyable activity during times of stress, I roll my eyes a bit. Self-care doesn’t really help me with my stress. It’s a Band-Aid for me at best—if it helps at all.
I may feel better for a couple of hours, or maybe even for the rest of the day. But the next morning, when I wake up, I’m facing the same stress again. I might even think, “Well, if I hadn’t taken time to go to the nail salon yesterday for self-care, then I may have been able to tackle that stressful thing and it would already be done.”
Does anyone else relate? Am I the only one who feels like trying to add self-care into an already busy and stressful list of to-dos is just absurd?
[You can listen anytime to the author reading these articles on the Faith and Soul Care podcast]
Why We Need Soul Care
That’s because stress, anxiety, and other negative emotions respond best to soul care, not self-care—especially if you are a Christian. We have access to the best soul care provider in the universe, the only One who can give us peace and calm that passes all understanding.
Here’s the thing: no clinical counselor can teach you about soul care if they are working within the healthcare or clinical model, even if they are a Christian. Most haven’t learned about it unless they have taken special training. It’s simply not taught in most clinical mental health graduate programs.
So what makes self-care and soul care different? The main question I want to focus on today is this: Why is soul care better for our emotional needs and stress management than self-care is?
Jesus’s Invitation to Soul Rest
What is soul care? Jesus recognized our need for it. He recognized our human need for rest, but not just physical rest. The rest He speaks of is not about sleep or vacation. It’s an invitation to step away from distractions and be with Him. That leads us into soul care.
In Matthew 11:28–29, a verse so many of us know and cling to, Jesus says: “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”
Jesus offers this deeper soul care. It’s not just about being rested physically. It’s about being nourished spiritually. Our souls were created for connection with God, and without that, no amount of self-care will ever make us feel fully refreshed or whole.
Rest for Your Souls
In that Matthew 11 passage, the phrase “rest for your souls” is key. The Greek word for rest here is anapsis, which means more than relaxation. It means deep relief, renewal, and refreshment at our very core. Jesus isn’t offering a vacation; He is offering a kind of soul rest that the world cannot give.
The word for heavy laden is fortiso, a word commonly used in Roman times. It referred both to physical burdens from hard labor and also to emotional burdens or circumstances that seemed too much to bear. This invitation is for us. It’s for physical stress our bodies carry and for mental and emotional burdens we hold.
Notice what Jesus does not say. He doesn’t say, “Make room for self-care.” He doesn’t say, “Take a day off, do something fun, or treat yourself.” He says, “Come to Me. I am the answer for your weariness. I am the answer for your burdens. I will give you rest.”
Then He says, “Take My yoke upon you.” That image is of two oxen walking side by side, sharing the load. Jesus is saying: “Walk side by side with Me. Let Me be with you and help carry what you cannot carry on your own. Then you will find rest for your soul.”
The Danger of Replacing Soul Care with Self-Care
Soul care is about being filled and restored by God Himself. Self-care may help, but it’s never enough.
When we try to replace soul care with self-care, we’ll always feel almost refreshed, but not quite. We might feel okay for a while, but something will still feel missing—and it won’t last. That’s because our souls don’t just need plain rest. They need resting with God.
How to Practice Soul Care
So how do we practice soul care? It isn’t complicated, but it does take intentionality. Soul care does not happen passively. Here are two simple ways to begin:
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Spend time in God’s presence. This is not just prayer and Bible reading, though those are important. It’s intentionally practicing His presence—becoming aware of Him and allowing His presence to comfort and restore you.
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Abide in Christ. Let Him fill you with His goodness and His teachings. Allow your thought life to abide in His truth. I like to say: let your thoughts “marinate” in God’s thoughts until they start to permeate and reshape your own.
I go into these practices more in my book, Closer to God: Simple Methods Starting Today. But even better, you can join me in the Women’s Online Connection Cohorts. Together we will go through a course on soul care methods that I believe will be an amazing time of spiritual growth. To make sure you are notified when sign-ups begin, join the email list at sherryelaine.com/cohorts.
Final Thoughts
So is self-care good? Yes. It can be helpful, but it isn’t true renewal. True renewal—deep, lasting soul rest—can only come from being filled by God.
So let’s not settle for short-lived refreshment when Jesus offers something deeper. Let’s make time to go away with Him, even if just for set-aside times each week. Let’s build practices of soul care with God into our regular daily and weekly routines.
And I hope I will see many of you soon as we begin the Women’s Connection Cohorts in just a little over a month.
Gratefully,
Sherry
Resources Mentioned:
Faith & Soul Care Foundations Cohort: sherryelaine.com/cohorts
Cohort Expanded Upgrade Option: sherryelaine.com/thankyou
Author's Books: HERE, on Amazon
Main Site: sherryelaine.com